This entry was posted on Friday, September 19th, 2008 at 5:48 am and is filed under Family Stuff. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.
Tonight was the night.
Tonight was the night I was going to rent a Neo-Classic chick flick and watch it with you because it would make you happy.
Tonight was the night I was going to buy you an expensive card from Papyrus.
Tonight was the night I was going to shop for flowers I can’t afford and have them sent to you.
Tonight was the night I was going to sit down next to you on the couch and talk excitedly about our upcoming trip to Maui, while we laughed about how we stole ketchup packets and barbecue sauce from McDonalds so we could eat on our honeymoon ten years ago.
Tonight was the night I was going to write out my grocery list for the dinner I would prepare for you tomorrow, complete with candles and a new jazz CD.
Tonight was the night I was going to hold you tight and tell you that, even though we are weathering tough times, everything would be OK…I’m sure of it.
Tonight was the night I was going to put together a photo collection of our daughter (all the best pictures) so I could print them out and put them in a little book for you.
Tonight was the night I was going to write a draft of a letter. A letter that explained that, after ten years of marriage, I have never been more sure of anything in my life. That throughout all the tough times, our relationship has only grown stronger. That I depend on you, and cherish and respect you more than you will ever know. That I am forever indebted to you for giving me the most beautiful little girl in the world, even though you had to struggle, fight and sacrifice for her survival. That, to this day, you are the most beautiful woman, inside and out, I will ever know. That I cannot imagine a life without you, and I will go to the absolute ends of the Earth to protect what we have. That I promise to always work, strive and sacrifice to make sure that you have the life you deserve. That I love you.
Tonight was the night.
Instead, you sleep restlessly away from me, subject to interruption and incessant beeps, dings and pages. You are surrounded by strangers, who poke, prod and bleed you. You are unsure, uncertain and alone. This is not how it was meant to be, and I am scared. I want to be with you. To help you and make you feel safe. But, for the first time in a long, long while, I realize that I have absolutely no control over the outcome of this situation.
God, you and I haven’t had much of a relationship in a long, long time. Maybe I got a little spoiled, maybe even a little arrogant. Its been a couple of decades since Sunday School. But, frankly, I have nowhere else to turn. I’ve heard through the grapevine that, when it comes to forgiveness, you wrote the book. Please. Please, let my wife be OK. I need her.
Matt
September 19th, 2008 at 6:08 am
Oh my gosh, such beautiful but heartbreaking words! I do not know the situation, but my heart goes out to you, and I do hope that your wife is OK. Sounds so scary and so tough.
Maggie’s Minds last blog post..Haiku Friday 9/19/08
September 19th, 2008 at 8:40 am
OMG - I’m so sorry. I can’t even imagine what you’re going through.
Know that you have the good thoughts of many, many people behind you.
Jesse
ShredderFeeders last blog post..On Sleeping…
September 19th, 2008 at 12:37 pm
OMG! I hope that everything is ok. Your family is in my thoughts and prayers!!!
September 19th, 2008 at 1:52 pm
I am not sure what your situation is, but someday soon Aline will read this post and cherish it with all her heart.
Praying for you in Ohio
Blessings From Aboves last blog post..Toddler Time
September 19th, 2008 at 2:03 pm
I’m not really sure what happened, but I can gather from this post that it isn’t good. I just wanted to let you know that I am praying for your wife. That was one of the most romantic things I’ve ever read. Seriously. I hope she gets to read it one day.
September 19th, 2008 at 6:32 pm
wow. i can’t imagine what you are going through…but i hope you get to do all those things really soon! hugs~
alis last blog post..Dear Internets,
September 19th, 2008 at 7:55 pm
I hope everything is okay,
VegasDads last blog post..a desert trek
September 21st, 2008 at 5:08 pm
What loving and tearful words! I’m praying for you and your family.
Heathers last blog post..a day of firsts
September 22nd, 2008 at 12:36 am
Prayers to the One, asking for health and healing for Aline. Today and ongoing.
Barbaras last blog post..Books
September 22nd, 2008 at 6:41 pm
I’m commenting here after reading on Twitter that she’s home now and doing okay but I know this must have been very tough on you. You expressed your emotion very well and this is a beautiful post.
Tyler @ Building Camelots last blog post..More Pink Paint And Some Great Nursery Ideas
September 23rd, 2008 at 1:32 am
Matt? How are things now these three days later? I pray that everything and everyone is OK.
September 24th, 2008 at 3:36 am
I do appreciate Tyler’s comment to let us non-twitterers know that Aline is home. I came back to say that I am sure God is ever-listening to us, even you, Matt. (Smile with me.) Amen and Alleluia!
Barbaras last blog post..Brushing - But Not Your Teeth
September 28th, 2008 at 5:44 pm
Wow Matt…this post was just the most beautiful thing I’ve read in a long time. I’ve already read that your wife is ok, so I won’t comment on that, but omg…I want that kind of love someday. I know of so many marriages (and my own ex-relationship) that is just completely the opposite. The love you guys quite obviously have for each other is IT. That is true love. Nothing short of beautiful and inspirational!