This entry was posted on Friday, October 17th, 2008 at 9:35 pm and is filed under Family Stuff. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.
I was nowhere near prepared for this when my wife was pregnant with our daughter, Frankie. I knew there would be moments in my daughter’s life that would stand out more than others, but I always envisioned them being the popular mainstream Kodak ones. A picture of her in a black graduation gown, valedictorian tassels around her shoulders, giving a thumbs up to the camera. A shot of her with a bowl of spaghetti on her head, grinning like the cat that got the cream. That sort of thing…the moments you remember and say “awwwwww” about.
My daughter is three-and-a-half years old now. And there have been two actual, real milestones that I can remember in her life. The first happened back in April, when her cardiac surgeon shook my hand and told us that the hole in her heart had closed unexpectedly. That was a milestone.
The second occurred today. My daughter goes to preschool five days a week. Although all the statistics and Barack say that this will benefit her in the long term, my wife and I have had serious doubts about her being away from us for that long. She simply seems too young. Unfortunately, due to economic and sanity factors, we made the decision that schedule was necessary. While driving her to school, we were having our usual conversations. Why someone would leave a grocery cart in the road, where the helicopter at the local airport was and how if the police see her turn the dome light of the car on, they will give us a ticket.
Out of nowhere she said, “Daddy, I want to go to school.” To which I replied “We’re on our way, baby, you know that.” Then, after thinking for a moment, “Why, out of curiosity?”
“Because all of my friends are there and I want to play with them. Tracy and Ara and the other Tracy. We play all day and slide down the slides and do Playdough.”
At that moment my mind made a Scott Bakula Quantum Leap. I realized that she hasn’t complained about school at all. She runs right in every morning, leaving me in the dust, while all the other kids run out to say hi to her. She never looks back. I envisioned her in just a few short years, playing with Barbies or that phone date game the girls used to play with when I was in school, in her room with her friends, screaming “da-DDY” at me when I try to poke my head in to say hi. I imagined her and her clan lying on their stomachs in the TV room talking about boys, growing suddenly silent when I pass.
This realization, I am afraid, is a milestone. I now understand that milestones aren’t events, they are feelings and emotions, experienced at a particular point in time, that cannot be forgotten. I am relatively new at this parenting thing, but this morning I saw the future, and I will not forget this day. I am incredibly proud of my little girl, more than I can express. “There goes my little girl!” I say to myself as she trots off. Deep down, though, there is a constant tug at my heart caused by the realization that, one day, she will be a little girl no more.
Matt
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October 17th, 2008 at 9:58 pm
Wow, Matt. You are really the uber-daddy-blogger. Milestones are emotions! That statement should be a qualifier to increase your EQ 20 points. Aline and Frankie - two very lucky, no blessed, females.
Barbaras last blog post..Sensory Regulation
October 18th, 2008 at 2:57 am
This is so beautifully written. And I too love the phrase “milestones are emotions”. Never thought of it that way, but it makes perfect sense.
Frankie looks adorable in that picture! I can not get over how much she has grown. Seems like she has suddenly lost the toddler look and is now a little girl.
Blessings From Aboves last blog post..HELP ME!!!!!
October 18th, 2008 at 4:06 am
Wow this is so well written. Y’all should print this out and save it for her.
I am looking forward to my husband thinking (and hopefully saying) things like this about our kids one day.
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October 19th, 2008 at 2:42 pm
Our son is only 18 months and already tired of me. So now I just live for those fleeting moments when he’s sleepy or content or neeedy or simply feeling snuggly, when he nestles in for a good long while and I get to sniff his hair.
It’s all part of growing up, I guess - for him AND me.
Your little girl is absolutely lovely!
bejewells last blog post..It’s What You Didn’t Become That Hurts
October 25th, 2008 at 3:45 pm
wow, you just pulled at my heartstrings, this is so true. True milestones are feelings and emotions. And the truth that one day they will be grown and it goes by so very quickly. Great post!
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October 26th, 2008 at 5:52 pm
Such a beautiful post, Matt. Your daughter sounds like such a neat little girl, and I’m glad she’s doing so well.