The Playpen

Welcome to the second installment of The Preemie Adventure. This personal and inspirational series is a collection of real-life stories from real-life parents that deals with the emotional roller coaster associated with pre-term birth.

This installment comes from a good friend of ours, Jeremy Biser. Jeremy runs a brilliant site entitled Discovering Dad, which was founded in 2007.

The objective of Discovering Dad is to build connections between dads and encourage fathers to get involved in their kids lives. It is also meant to help fathers establish their own voice in society as something more than the ’second’ parent.

We appreciate Jeremy’s story, and hope you draw as much inspiration from it as we did.

Our daughter, Caitlin, was born at 35 weeks, and she weighed 5 pounds 6 ounces. We were a little surprised at her early arrival, but our 2-year-old son was born at 36 weeks, so we had started to prepare for the possibility of another preemie a week or so prior to Caitlin’s arrival.

When she was first born, we anticipated a short stay in the NICU; however, we were not prepared for a 24-day battle with a severe intestinal infection. A few days after birth, Caitlin was diagnosed with Necrotizing Enterocolitis, which had the potential of rupturing her intestines and requiring major surgery. Fortunately, the disease was caught early, and she was a little fighter. It was an emotional roller coaster for us, but looking back on it now, it brought our family even closer together.

We are so thankful for the blessings we have, especially our three kids. Today, at 3-months-old, Caitlin is a happy and healthy baby. She went from being in the 5th percentile for weight and height when we brought her home to the 50th percentile in both at her 3 month check up. Every time I look at her, my heart swells with joy that she is a part of our life.

You can subscribe to Jeremy’s feed here.

If you would like to submit your preemie stories and photos for inclusion in The Preemie Adventure, drop us a comment, or email us at matt@redsparks.com.

Aline & Matt

A few weeks ago we were driving my daughter home from preschool. As we were talking to her about her day, a little drama began to unfold.

Me: So what else did you do today, sweetie?

Daughter: Nothing. That’s it.

Wife: So was it a good day or what?

Daughter: No.

Me: Why not…did something bad happen? (my first reaction to almost any negative statement from my daughter)

Daughter: Yeah. Peyton hit me and knocked me down.

Wife: Ohhh….that’s not very nice of her. Why would she do that?

Frankie: Not she, mommy. He.

Wife: Oh, well I ju….

Me: Nonononononononono….hold up a sec here! I got this. Peyton is a boy? A boy hit you at preschool and knocked you down? Lemmie tell you what you do in this situation. You listening? The next time little Pick-On Girls-Peyton hits you, you smash him right in the face as hard as you can…you got that? And if he falls down kick him. Twice!

Daughter: (happily excited): Yeah, Daddy!!!!

Wife:…………

Me: (looking proudly at wife): See? That’s how you play that. No stupid kid is gonna get one over on MY little girl. Punk. He’s lucky I…….

Me: (looking at wife again): Babe? What??

It occurred to me that it may be possible that I had slightly overreacted with my response. After my wife explained that she thought it might have been better to suggest that, at 3 years old, my daughter simply go to the teacher and explain what had happened I realized that, once again, my man-sense may have gotten the best of me.

But then I started really thinking about it. IS going to the teacher the right thing to do? Shouldn’t she be taught to stand up for herself? A parent or a teacher won’t always be around, you know? I took martial arts for a couple of years. Busy Dad could knock me out over the phone, but I did learn that, if you can’t avoid it, and are absolutely in harms way, make sure you put them in harm’s way first. Do enough damage to make sure you are safe, then walk away. To me, that is what I would like my daughter to learn as well. The more I thought about it, the more I stood by my original reaction (not the vernacular, mind you, but the concept).

I also considered that, if I had a son instead, and a girl hit him and knocked him down, my response would have been much different. Clearly, there is a lot of gray area here, and I am interested in how you would have (or have already) handled these types of situations with your own children. Let the authorities handle it, or handle it themselves?

Oh and, by the way? Peyton? You’re goin’ down.

Matt
The RedSparks Summer Sale is over. We will be launching our brand new fall collection later this week, so you still have a few days to take advantage of the last summer savings. Stop by and rummage through our stuff!

Sometimes, when the chips are down, things happen that restore your faith in humankind and in yourself. As everyone (thanks for making it public, Matt!:)) knows, I had a bit of a health scare recently, on the eve of our tenth anniversary. Murphy’s Law, I guess.

I am happy to report that all tests were negative and that I am home and back to enjoying the daily grind with my husband, daughter and doggy. Apart from a few follow up doctors visits, I am A-OK.

I want to thank everyone from the bottom of my heart for your thoughts, prayers, emails and comments. They helped more than you know. I also want to say a special thanks to a few people who’s interest and concern in my health made Matt feel better about the situation, which means a great deal to me.

Barbara from TherExtras. We both agree that this woman’s blog will make us feel like dummies for all time, but she is an amazingly good-hearted woman, and for that we love her.

Jen, from Blessings From Above. The first brave soul to post on The Preemie Adventure, she truly seems to care, and does NOT deserve the BS comments she’s been getting from a stalker on her site recently.

Mr Lady at Whiskey in My Sippy Cup who, if she does decide actually write a book, should write it just about how to cheer someone up. She’ll make millions.

Thanks again to all of you. Watch for a new and NON-depressing Playpen post soon!

Aline
RedSparks is now proud to offer Baby SpareWear. If you don’t check it out you’ll regret it.

Tonight was the night.

Tonight was the night I was going to rent a Neo-Classic chick flick and watch it with you because it would make you happy.

Tonight was the night I was going to buy you an expensive card from Papyrus.

Tonight was the night I was going to shop for flowers I can’t afford and have them sent to you.

Tonight was the night I was going to sit down next to you on the couch and talk excitedly about our upcoming trip to Maui, while we laughed about how we stole ketchup packets and barbecue sauce from McDonalds so we could eat on our honeymoon ten years ago.

Tonight was the night I was going to write out my grocery list for the dinner I would prepare for you tomorrow, complete with candles and a new jazz CD.

Tonight was the night I was going to hold you tight and tell you that, even though we are weathering tough times, everything would be OK…I’m sure of it.

Tonight was the night I was going to put together a photo collection of our daughter (all the best pictures) so I could print them out and put them in a little book for you.

Tonight was the night I was going to write a draft of a letter. A letter that explained that, after ten years of marriage, I have never been more sure of anything in my life. That throughout all the tough times, our relationship has only grown stronger. That I depend on you, and cherish and respect you more than you will ever know. That I am forever indebted to you for giving me the most beautiful little girl in the world, even though you had to struggle, fight and sacrifice for her survival. That, to this day, you are the most beautiful woman, inside and out, I will ever know. That I cannot imagine a life without you, and I will go to the absolute ends of the Earth to protect what we have. That I promise to always work, strive and sacrifice to make sure that you have the life you deserve. That I love you.

Tonight was the night.

Instead, you sleep restlessly away from me, subject to interruption and incessant beeps, dings and pages. You are surrounded by strangers, who poke, prod and bleed you. You are unsure, uncertain and alone. This is not how it was meant to be, and I am scared. I want to be with you. To help you and make you feel safe. But, for the first time in a long, long while, I realize that I have absolutely no control over the outcome of this situation.

God, you and I haven’t had much of a relationship in a long, long time. Maybe I got a little spoiled, maybe even a little arrogant. Its been a couple of decades since Sunday School. But, frankly, I have nowhere else to turn. I’ve heard through the grapevine that, when it comes to forgiveness, you wrote the book. Please. Please, let my wife be OK. I need her.

Matt

Thanks to everyone who commented in our recent Bright Baby Activity Box Giveaway!

The random number generator picked Lucky commenter #7, Elizabeth M., who said “I think there’s oodles of great finds at RedSparks. Some of my favorites are the black/white art cards, the zoo friends bath set, the busy bee activity toy and the happy feet gift set. I’d love to see art prints for nursery walls and other decorative items. That would be great! :)”

Thanks, Elizabeth! Email us at matt@redsparks.com with your address and we’ll send your prize right out!

Matt & Aline
The RedSparks Summer Sale is coming to an end. Don’t miss out! Receive up to 60% off on today’s hottest fashion and accessories for preemies, infants and toddlers!

We are extremely excited to kick off a new ongoing series at The Playpen entitled The Preemie Adventure! This personal and inspirational series is a collection of real-life stories from real-life parents that deals with the emotional roller coaster associated with pre-term birth. The Preemie Adventure is designed to feature up close and personal stories, advice and information regarding prematurity, along with photos of preemies, then and now. Aline and I drew a great deal of inspiration from the photos along the walls of the NICU during our daughter’s stay there, and we have committed ourselves to providing support and encouragement to parents who are going through the same experience now.

Our first story comes from Jennifer, who writes a terrific blog called Blessings From Above.

Jennifer is one of the nicest people you will ever meet, and has agreed to share the amazing story of her son, Kyle’s, whirlwind premature birth. Please join me in thanking Jennifer for her honest and uplifting submission, and be sure to stop by her site and drop her a comment. Thanks, Jennifer!

Kyle’s Story

During a family vacation to Disney World, I was diagnosed with Preterm Premature Rupture of the Membranes (PPROM)…which is a fancy way of saying that my water broke VERY early. I was 22 weeks pregnant and was told that there was very little chance that the baby would survive.

We were devastated as they went over the statistics. My due date was still 121 days away. We had a 90% chance that the baby would die in the delivery room. If he beat the odds and survived, it would almost surely be with severe disabilities and a very poor quality of life. We were even offered medication to speed up the “inevitable”.

Thankfully, I lasted almost two weeks on bed-rest, which gave the baby some much needed time to develop further. At 24 weeks and 5 days, Kyle was born weighing 1 pound 6 ounces. Again we were warned that his chances of surviving, let alone leading a quality life, were not good.

We were devastated when we saw how small he was. And it was not a tiny, cute little baby kind of small. He obviously was very sick. Despite all the problems on the inside - things like his lungs and heart not being developed - we were struck by how different he looked on the outside. One of his eyes was still fused shut. His skin was transparent and covered with hair. Even his ear lobes had not yet developed cartilage and just hung there.

You will hear many parents of preemie’s state that their NICU stay was a rollercoaster ride and this description is so true.

During Kyle’s 119 days in Florida Hospital South’s NICU, while he had some good days, he also endured heart surgery, 69 days on life support/ventilator, Cytomegalovirus (CMV), anemia, bilateral hernias, Bronchopulmonary Dysplasia (BPD), Chronic Lung Disease, bilateral renal calculi (small kidney stones), jaundice, aspirations, Respiratory Distress Syndrome, 3 bouts with pneumonia, hyperglycemia, 11 blood transfusions, high blood pressure, numerous infections and Stage 3 Retinopathy of Prematurity requiring Eye Surgery.

Thanks to many answered prayers, today Kyle is a happy and healthy 18 month old (14 months adjusted age). He is the happiest baby and loves to be the center of attention. He is close to walking on his own and is adding new words to his vocabulary weekly.

If there is one remnant of Kyle’s extreme prematurity, it is the slow rate in which he has grown. Although it is finally starting to get better, since the day we left the hospital we have received comments on Kyle’s small size. An automatic question of strangers seems to be, “How old is your baby?” When he weighed 7 pounds and I would answer that he is six months old, people would look at me like I am crazy. Kyle is now almost 19 pounds, which considering his start in life, is amazing to me. Still, I feel like I always have to defend his small size and am looking forward to the day that he is actually on the growth chart!

We had a great appreciation for Kyle even before his prematurity because I had such a difficult time getting pregnant (he is an IVF baby), so even his conception was nothing short of miraculous to us. But everything now is even more precious to us and we take nothing for granted. We have learned some valuable lessons through this trial and we’ll never be the same. When I look at Kyle now, it is hard for me to imagine that he once weighed just 18 ounces. I am amazed by the accomplishments he has made, he truly is our miracle baby. “This is the Lord’s doing, it is marvelous in our eyes.” Psalm 118:23

If you would like to submit your preemie stories and photos for inclusion in The Preemie Adventure, drop us a comment, or email us at matt@redsparks.com.

Happy Labor Day Weekend Everyone!

The Playpen has been a fantastic experience for us. We’ve met a lot of terrific people and have learned a lot from our readers. It almost seems *hint hint* that our little baby blog here has become more successful than our actual business. Hmm. How did that happen?

A few posts ago, we featured some of our favorite products from our online baby boutique, RedSparks. As you can read in Our Story, we started our shop when our daughter, Frankie, was born prematurely. We just weren’t able to find preemie clothes that were hip and cool enough for any daughter of ours! Throw my wife, Aline’s, keen eye for fashion and a love of shopping into the mix, and we ended up with a line of baby clothing and accessories (micro-preemie through 4T) that we are very proud of. Business has been picking up which, in today’s economy, we hope means we are doing something right. Note: this could also just mean that people are out of money, so they are just staying home and making more babies, If you know what I mean. Either way, we love it.

Now we’d like to ask for our readers’ help in growing our business the right way. To thank you for your comments, we are giving away one of our coolest baby gifts, the Bright Baby First Learning Box!

This activity box is a fantastic, fun and interactive learning tool for your wee one. Packed full of developmental and sensory objects, the Bright Baby Box is sure to quickly become one of Baby’s favorites.

Box includes:

Shaker teether
Baby animals book (touch and feel)
First words board book
123 flash cards
Bathtime bath book
Colors cloth book

All we ask is that you take a quick tour through RedSparks and leave a comment telling us what your favorite products from the line are and, more importantly, what you would like to see more of. Be honest…marketers all over the world pay millions of dollars every day to sit in focus groups to get this kind of information…we are grateful to be able to get it for free! (Well, sort of).

We’ll pick a winner at random on Saturday, September 6th…ALL comments will be entered into the drawing, so if you think of something else after you have already commented, its cool. Comment again!

We would like to sincerely thank you for your honest opinions and comments. Its not easy getting a business off the ground these days, and your help in making RedSparks a success is truly appreciated. Now stop reading and go shop!

Matt & Aline
The RedSparks Summer Sale is coming to an end. Don’t miss out! Receive up to 60% off on today’s hottest fashion and accessories for preemies, infants and toddlers!

We have reached a milestone in my daughter’s life. Tomorrow, she starts school. Granted, its preschool, but this particular school goes all the way through eighth grade so, for all intents and purposes, today will be the last weekday she spends at home with Aline, barring holidays and sick days.

Naturally, I have found a way to twist what some other parents would see as a monumental and joyous occasion into a dark and twisting vortex of worry and over-analysis. Don’t judge…it’s my way.

Even before I had a child I was aware that children are tempted by drugs and alcohol at a much earlier age than I ever was. According to the SAMHSA, many kids start drinking in middle school, and one out of every two 8th graders has tried alcohol. So that means that by the time my daughter is thirteen, when she brings home a friend from school one of them will have hit the bottle. And Talking with Kids states that the average age by which kids try marijuana is 12. That’s an average, people.

I personally tried alcohol for the first time at a party my junior year in high school, and didn’t even touch weed until I was about 24. Why? Because my parents were all over it. I was terrified of drugs. I believed that my face would melt off like the guy from Raiders if I even came near a bong. According to them, they never took drugs, they hated them. My mom hadn’t even tried a beer until about 20 minutes ago, and that made her so sick she almost died. They never backed down in their story; whether it was truth or fiction we believed it. At least until we were old enough to start making intelligent decisions for ourselves. And this concept, the sentence I just wrote, is what concerns me the most about kids, drugs and alcohol. If I had tried them at that young of an age, would I have had the sense to limit their use, as I did when I was older? Would I have known to put the twelfth beer back because, just maybe, I would miss work the next day if I drank it?

I don’t think so. I think I would have simply latched onto how cool they made me feel and gone after that feeling over and over again, making more and more bad decisions and ultimately ending up with a life that is not quite as nice as the one I have now. I didn’t have the limits that we learn to set for ourselves through experience. I had no “off” switch.

By contrast, there is the technique employed by parents of some of my friends growing up. Let your kids know about your experiences, particularly the bad ones, with drugs and alcohol. Put yourself on their level. Show them you understand. Illustrate to them how bad misuse at an early age can be so that they may benefit from your mistakes. If you are upfront and honest with your kids about your own experiences, they will respect you that much more for it and will avoid getting tangled up in the whole mess altogether.

One of the things I love the most about The Playpen is your comments. I love the immediacy of the medium. I am always completely interested, surprised and sometimes even shocked at the diversity of responses we get to our posts, even if it is still only a handful. That being said, I would love to hear which method you have, or intend to employ when trying to keep your kids safe and healthy throughout their adolescence. Upfront and honest about your own alcohol and drug experimentation (I know, I know…there ARE some of you who truly haven’t used either, but that would completely ruin this post!), or as an old boss said to me a long time ago, “Lie Lie Lie, until you can’t lie any more! By the time they figure out you were lying, they’ll have the sense to make their own decisions.”

Matt
The RedSparks Summer Sale is coming to an end. Don’t miss out! Receive up to 60% off on today’s hottest fashion and accessories for preemies, infants and toddlers!

A while ago, a blog friend of mine made a random comment on their site that, for whatever reason, I cannot seem to shake. It wasn’t meant to be taken seriously, but it was just one of those things that sort of opened my eyes to a new perspective and made me think. My interpretation of the comment was that putting a child into preschool too soon is not only not a benefit to a kid, but could also be damaging to them from an emotional and developmental standpoint.

My daughter starts preschool in a week. She is three-and-a-half years old. In order to make a clean comparison, lets take finances out of the mix. Granted, there are many people out there for whom anything but preschool for their children is not fiscally viable (how’s THAT for a sentence!) As U.S. home values drop, inflation increases and expenses rise, both parents must work to make ends meet. For the purpose of my question you will ultimately read at the bottom of this post (I hope), I’d like to exclude this group from the debate.

I am interested in other reasons parents may have for sending or not sending their children to Pre-K. In our case, we feel that our daughter needs it, and can benefit greatly from it. She is a bit ahead of the curve intelligence-wise, yes…at least for now. But, that aside, we have simply come to the realization that we are NOT the type of parents who can devote every hour of every day to nurturing our daughters creative, analytical and behavioral growth. Before you judge that statement, let me also say that we are good parents. We spend a lot of time with her, and I know for a fact that anyone coming in from the outside to observe would agree that she is being raised well. But we simply can’t offer her the stimulation that a structured, scholastic environment can. Is “scholastic” to heavy a word for a preschooler? I don’t think so. Her classroom has computers. There is a complete library with a preschool section and reading days every Friday. Tuesdays are art. Thursdays are music. There is cooking, theater, organized sports, even swimming. HOW, pray tell, would two lowly individuals like ourselves possibly be able to expose her to that type of diversity? They study ABC’s, learn the Pledge of Allegiance, foreign language…oh, did I mention that they play outside all the time too? Not only will she love it, but she will be challenged, and she enjoys challenge. I recently bought her a new ABC puzzle. She spent HOURS with me doing it over and over until she had almost all of them (has anyone seen the “S”, by the way?). Personally, I can see no better way of keeping her entertained, motivated and focused than preschool, and stand by our decision to send her. (I didn’t even touch on the socialization aspects of it…how many playdates can one person REALLY set up on their own?).

The counterpoint to this argument is one shared by many of my close friends. They believe that birth through, say, four years old is bonding time for the children and the parents. That those years should be devoted to play, development and discipline in the home. They feel, I think, that the child should not be made to be away from home for long periods of time, and that the home environment and consistent presence of the parents is far more beneficial to a child during these early years when children are so impressionable. Preschool, for them, is more damaging than good in that it takes away the opportunity for the parents to instill the character traits they wish onto their children and places it firmly in the hands of people they do not know. They often feel that parents who do put their kids into Pre-K are guilty of hyper parenting, and place unnecessary and undue stress and expectations on children who are not yet emotionally ready to carry that burden.

Clearly, you know which side of the argument I fall into. You will never convince me that my daughter will not be happier, more well-rounded and more successful in life (not only financially, but emotionally as well) if she is exposed to more, learns more and processes more from her current age on. But I am also aware that there are billions of intelligent and creative people who have very happy and comfortable lives who didn’t attend one hour of preschool growing up.

My final question is simple. Do three and four-year-old children benefit more from early education or from the continuing attention, love and comfort they receive at home? I know what the statistics say, but there IS more to life than the right college or perfect career. What do you think?

Matt
The RedSparks Summer Sale is coming to an end. Don’t miss out! Receive up to 60% off on today’s hottest fashion and accessories for preemies through ,that’s right, preschoolers!.

Well, I think its about time we started doing some product reviews. I know what you’re asking yourself…”Who’s product is exciting, fashionable and awesome enough for Aline to even consider reviewing it?” You guessed it, ours! That’s right, we are smack dab in the middle of the RedSparks Summer Sale! The Fall stuff is coming, and we are clearing out the inventory at prices of up to 60% off. In case you’re not familiar with RedSparks, you can always check out our story. Also, I thought I’d showcase a few of my favorite products i.e.-the ones that are the hardest to let go of at a discount!

For baby girls, I love the Ghana Batik Dress. The print is inspired by an artisinal batik that found in Accra, Ghana, and it is, of course, machine washable.

Regular Price $69.00 Our Price $34.50

This is totally and completely cute, no matter how you slice it. The Bow Top from Stella Industries is adorable, and pairs perfectly with the tiered tutu skirt (shown below).




Regular Price $29.00 Our Price $17.40

See? The Tiered Tutu Skirt makes the outfit…she’s all ready for the ball!




Regular Price $46.00 Our Price $27.60

Got a cute little baby boy who needs some new threads? Check out this rockin’ n rollin’ Play Forever T from Recco S. Its got a cool kangaroo pocket in the front!




Regular Price $38.00 Our Price $26.60

If you need to dress him up a little more, he’ll look dashing in this Mulai Dip Dye Vest. Match it up with a crisp new T-shirt and our Tereli Yarn Dyed Pant (shown below). He’ll be fighting the ladies off with a stick!




Regular Price $41.00 Our Price $19.50

Check out the coordinating Tereli Yarn Dye Pant! Leave the bottoms rolled or unbutton them for a clean, classy look.





Regular Price $45.00 Our Price $26.50


Of course, not everyone has children, but everyone knows someone who has kids. RedSparks also carries a wide range of baby bath and body, shoes, gifts, books and toys. What would make a better gift for the new mommy than this Zoo Friends Bath Set? Soft and oversized, towel is 100% cotton terry and comes with matching washing mit and a rubber ducky!




Regular Price $37.00 Our Price $29.99

To check out all the fun, fashionable and stylish items on sale now at RedSparks, click the banner in the sidebar to the right, or click here.

Don’t forget, we carry a complete line of clothing for preemie girls and preemie boys too! Help us spread the word!

Aline
To stay informed with updates about new products and the addition of our fall line, set up a free account with RedSparks!