This entry was posted on Thursday, February 19th, 2009 at 6:53 pm and is filed under General. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.
First, business. In what was clearly a short spell of misguided delirium, Vegas Dad hooked me up with this award recently.
The award acknowledges a blogger’s effort to transmit cultural, literal, ethical and personal values every day. Truth be told, I am lucky if I transmit the flu to coworkers once in a while, let alone those lofty values. Either way, I’d like to say thanks, Jason. The nod is greatly appreciated. The rules state that I must now award it to 15 bloggers that I feel are equally (probably even more so) deserving of it. I don’t think I even know 15 bloggers, so I’ll do what I can. If some of you already have it, just accept it again already.
.
Ca-Joh
deguia.net
Nuclear Family Warhead
Whiskey In My Sippy Cup
Maggie’s Mind
TherExtras
Parenting The Tiniest Of Miracles
My good friends KC and Hilda
And last but not least, Jeremy at Discovering Dad, who is probably considering changing my title on his site from “contributing writer” to “non-contributing flake.”
Now on to something else worth considering.
I tend to brag about my daughter a lot. Lets be honest, most of us do, right? I am constantly talking about how smart she is, and calling my sister excitedly on the phone to let her know that, at the ripe old age of three, she has begun singing with vibrato in her voice. So cool. I also get caught up in hyper-parenting from time to time, over correcting my daughter and pushing her to do things “the right way.” Of course, I do these things because she IS highly intelligent and I am very proud of that. I want her to succeed and I want to develop that gift in her as much as possible. I’m sure that other parents do this from time to time with their own children’s gifts, the bleachers at a little league baseball game are clear proof of that.
This week, however, I heard a story that was absolutely heartbreaking. A woman, 38 weeks pregnant, lost her child in a bizarre turn of events. I do not wish to link to this particular woman’s site, it is up to her and her alone whether or not she wants this brought up publicly, not me. What struck me the most was reading through her posts before she lost her child. You could hear the excitement and anticipation in her posts, she was clearly on cloud nine awaiting the birth of her child. Then the rug was pulled out from underneath her. I found myself feeling slightly ashamed for how I have been behaving. Has it been that long since I held my tiny little daughter in a state of sheer panic, attempting to stimulate her after feeding so she would breathe and bring the color back to her face? Has it been that long since I watched my wife’s blood pressure skyrocket to near seizure levels in the delivery room and felt my heart leap into my throat at the thought that I might actually really lose her? No, it has not.
This woman’s whole life was turned upside down. I do not know her, but I imagine she is not I a very good place right now, and I wish her all the strength, courage and support she requires to weather this storm. But I also owe her. We all owe her. We owe her the decency to back off from bragging, pushing, competing and gloating. We owe her a step back, to look at our own children, shortcomings, annoying habits and dirty diapers aside, and simply love them for who they are, and for being here. It is not important if my daughter draws a sun with the right colored crayon or puts all of her things back where they belong each and every time. What’s important is that she made it, that she’s here and that I love her.
-Matt
February 19th, 2009 at 7:17 pm
You are absolutely correct. Beautiful post, Matt.
[reply]
February 19th, 2009 at 8:30 pm
Congratulations on the honor of receiving the Premios Dardo (Prize Darts) award. The rest of your post proves that you deserve it.
[reply]
February 20th, 2009 at 4:49 am
You write very well, Matt. Being excited about Frankie’s current developments is an expression of your love for her and in no way diminshes the importance of another child’s death. Just the opposite.
I am very pleased you chose to give me an award – especially today. I think I will go post it now.
But first – did you notice – I named My Assistant Therapy Teacher – MATT? Check him out.
[reply]
February 20th, 2009 at 4:54 am
So true man – so true. We’ve even been dealing with trying not to compare our new daughter with what our first daughter’s milestones.
Great post and congrats on the award.
[reply]
February 20th, 2009 at 5:57 am
Barbara -
Of COURSE I noticed your new assistant’s name. Clearly he will be a dedicated and loyal servant. Smart as hell, too!
[reply]
February 20th, 2009 at 4:19 pm
Thanks so much, Matt. I’m very flattered. I now feel the need to live up to all the standards of this award.
Hmm…
[reply]
February 22nd, 2009 at 6:39 pm
Aw, thank you for the award. I’m flattered.
Even though it breaks my heart that I’ll likely never get to be a mom no matter how badly I want to, it brings me joy to see parents who truly appreciate their children, even when they brag a bit. So much better than those who do not recognize the blessing for what it is.
[reply]
February 22nd, 2009 at 8:39 pm
Great acceptance! You were a great choice.
[reply]
February 23rd, 2009 at 4:21 am
Clearly.
I just checked-out the other awardees. Awesome blogs! Wondering how I made it into the finals. Just saying. [NOT fishing for more compliments.]
[reply]
February 23rd, 2009 at 1:00 pm
Thanks, Matt! The link is just today showing up on my blog; WordPress magic at it’s finest! I appreciate it very much.
Great post. We often find ourselves nitpicking and complaining about the littlest things when we should just be thankful for what we have. I know I’ve been working on perspective lately; this post was certainly an eye-opener.
[reply]
March 4th, 2009 at 10:31 pm
Great site.
I just read your story about your preemie girl. I had a micro-preemie last year and we’re told that our next little guy (due in April) is going to be coming soon.
I’ll be heading back here often. Once again right site.
Scott
[reply]
March 28th, 2009 at 12:26 am
Thanks Matt! I might have to change my own title to the same thing man! It’s been crazy lately – everyone seems to be working harder just to maintain the same kind of life. It’s been hard for any of us to keep up with work and family and, then, try to find time to blog. Doesn’t matter though – the friendships are the best part of it anyway! Thanks again for including me on your list! Hope all is well!
[reply]