The Playpen

This past Saturday I threw my wife her very first baby shower. I’ve hosted parties, poker nights, Xbox gatherings, even a rave, but I have never hosted a baby shower.

Not that easy.

I have learned that, in contrast to a normal social gathering, there is not as much margin for error in planning a baby shower. This is based on two observations. First, a woman has a vision of what her baby shower will be like since birth, much like a wedding. Any variance from said vision will reserve you a permanent space on the couch for the duration of the pregnancy. Second, the shower must go swimmingly smooth, as your wife’s bloated and hormonal condition ensures that the slightest slip up will be seen in her mind as no less than cause for declaration of World War III, and will most likely bring your marriage to an end.

So I ordered these sweet invitations,

Decorated the front of the house,

And the back yard.

There were pretty flowers,

Great friends of ours supplied an awesome (and holy crap was it delicious) cake,

And I locked down some kick-ass favors for our guests.

Everyone chipped in and helped me pull this all together, and I think Aline would say that, at the end of the day, she was one happy, albeit exhausted, camper.

Later that night I got to thinking. The shower was fun, but it was also a pretty significant milestone for us. A little over four years ago, when our daughter unexpectedly arrived two months early, our whole perception of pregnancy and childbirth changed forever. Instead of an amazing and beautiful experience, we saw it as an emotional roller coaster full of potential pitfalls and peril. We looked at the whole thing, including a short period after Frankie’s birth, as something we would never wish on our worst enemies, and most certainly did not want to go through again. Frankly, the entire experience was awful.

I’ve realized that this baby shower was important because Aline deserved to have it. She didn’t do anything to cause an early delivery on the last go around, that’s just how things went, and I believe she has always felt somewhat cheated out of the experience she imagined she would have her whole life. This shower means something because it happened. It means that my unborn son is going to stay where he’s supposed to until its time, the right time, to come into the world. It means that, this time around, everything is going to be A-OK.

I think we might have made it this time, Aline. And I want you to know I’m proud of you.

-Matt

1. Carrie Says:
   May 11th, 2009 at 7:03 pm

   Your wife looks beautiful and everything you did for the shower looks like it was great! Good work! I’m glad she got her special day and that this pregnancy is going more smoothly. You both deserve it.

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2. Mr Lady Says:
   May 11th, 2009 at 8:08 pm

   AWWWWWWW!

   I’m soooo glad that Mr Man has decided to say in long enough for Aline to get her shower. They DO mean something, and you did good, daddy-o.

   Now tell your wife to stop being so damned gorgeous pregnant. She’s setting the bar way to high for the rest of us.

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3. Barbara Says:
   May 12th, 2009 at 2:52 am

   And I’m proud of you, Matt.

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4. iris hardin Says:
   May 13th, 2009 at 8:17 pm

   tears…

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5. Mary @ Holy Mackerel Says:
   May 17th, 2009 at 7:39 pm

   Extra special for sure.

   I can relate to this so strongly. My pregnancy with our son went without a hitch, and he was born, etc. everything was hunky dory. But something kept telling me all was not well, and so I didn’t feel free to just enjoy.

   My instinct was right. Four months later, we find out he has cancer. I knew it all along, but it took 4 months for the professionals to figure it out.

   I would have gone for a third child, but I think it would have been a hard one to bear. And my husband couldn’t bear to possibly go through something like that ever again.

   Take care of yourselves. And I’m so glad you did this for Aline. You are awesome.

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