Comments on: Thicker Than Water http://redsparks.com/playpen/2009/05/18/thicker-than-water/ The Playpen - A preemie and parenting blog from parents of a beautiful premature baby girl Tue, 20 Jul 2010 01:44:55 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.0 By: Helga http://redsparks.com/playpen/2009/05/18/thicker-than-water/comment-page-1/#comment-1666 Helga Wed, 27 May 2009 07:35:15 +0000 http://redsparks.com/playpen/?p=356#comment-1666 My husband in our early days of dating as he narrated his story told me about his "buddy Pfingsten," "He's like a brother," my husband would say and it was neat to hear that guys could be friends for so long, but was it "true" friendship? I asked myself. Bergen and Pfingsten lost touch, (aaaah, so I was right, not so good-a- friends after all) however they worked on the friendship and they picked up from where they left off, and I got the chance to get to know Pfingsten and his wife a little more. I must say that I am a skeptic by nature and believe that true friendship is EARNED and if someone who is not a blood relative is going to be worthy of being called a "brother" well then it has to be for a very good reason. Ergo why we did what we did this weekend. I am Helga, Matt Bergen's wife also a mother of a preemie little boy, born at 36 weeks and our life too was changed soon after his birth. Long story very short, about 6 hours after the birth of our son we were notified that he was going to require immediate surgery for TEF (Tracheal Esophageal Fistula) a condition that can potentially be fatal to such a tender life. Eight hours after giving birth to our first son, and only having had about 30 minutes holding and bonding with him, he was taken away by ambulance to UCLA for his surgery. I remained at St. John's because I had just given birth while my husband left with our newborn to be with him at the hospital. I could not even begin to imagine having our precious boy without his parents in the hands of strangers who would probably be poking him, prepping him for surgery etc., I prepared and feared for what was probably going to be the longest and worse night of my life as well as my husband's. I was very fortunate though, my mom stayed the night at the hospital so she could watch over me. However, all I did was cry and cry because I was so worried for my baby and for husband who had to endure the hours of waiting to hear from our baby boy's medical team to find out the outcome of the surgery within the cold walls of a hospital waiting room ALL ALONE. At about 11 p.m. on 5/2/06 my husband called me to let me know that our baby had just been taken into the O.R. and in between tears and bouts of trying to be strong, I said "babe I am sorry, I wish I could be there with you, so you wouldn't have to be all alone..." and he responded, "Oh don't worry baby Matt is here, he's been keeping me company, the moment I told him what's going on he came down." What a relief!! My husband was not alone anymore, and I felt sooo much better, and felt that now I should try to get some rest and gather my strength for my son, thanks to Matt who cared enough to be with his buddy Matt. Like Matt said in his post, "as if by some miracle" he showed up at the right time for my husband. That's not all though, came to find out the next morning when I spoke to my husband that Pfingsten was with him the entire night through the next morning. It was with that act of love, support and selfishless that Matt showed for my husband, my newborn, and me for that matter, that he and his wife earned a special place in my heart. Matt & Aline-they are family. Family is a special friendship, it's unconditional love at any moment; support at the drop of a hat, through the worse and the best of times. So you see Matt and his family have been there for us at the most difficult time of our life and now it wasn't even a question for Matt and I to help out Matt & Aline in preparation for baby boy Pfingsten. It was the least we could do for our family. Oh, and folks please don't let them fool you, the garage- it only happened because of the beers these two men pounded down and the whips and chains we ladies had :-) Thank you Matt for your beautiful words. My husband in our early days of dating as he narrated his story told me about his “buddy Pfingsten,” “He’s like a brother,” my husband would say and it was neat to hear that guys could be friends for so long, but was it “true” friendship?
I asked myself. Bergen and Pfingsten lost touch, (aaaah, so I was right, not so good-a- friends after all) however they worked on the friendship and they picked up from where they left off, and I got the chance to get to know Pfingsten and his wife a little more. I must say that I am a skeptic by nature and believe that true friendship is EARNED and if someone who is not a blood relative is going to be worthy of being called a “brother” well then it has to be for a very good reason. Ergo why we did what we did this weekend.
I am Helga, Matt Bergen’s wife also a mother of a preemie little boy, born at 36 weeks and our life too was changed soon after his birth. Long story very short, about 6 hours after the birth of our son we were notified that he was going to require immediate surgery for TEF (Tracheal Esophageal Fistula) a condition that can potentially be fatal to such a tender life.
Eight hours after giving birth to our first son, and only having had about 30 minutes holding and bonding with him, he was taken away by ambulance to UCLA for his surgery. I remained at St. John’s because I had just given birth while my husband left with our newborn to be with him at the hospital. I could not even begin to imagine having our precious boy without his parents in the hands of strangers who would probably be poking him, prepping him for surgery etc., I prepared and feared for what was probably going to be the longest and worse night of my life as well as my husband’s.
I was very fortunate though, my mom stayed the night at the hospital so she could watch over me. However, all I did was cry and cry because I was so worried for my baby and for husband who had to endure the hours of waiting to hear from our baby boy’s medical team to find out the outcome of the surgery within the cold walls of a hospital waiting room ALL ALONE.
At about 11 p.m. on 5/2/06 my husband called me to let me know that our baby had just been taken into the O.R. and in between tears and bouts of trying to be strong, I said “babe I am sorry, I wish I could be there with you, so you wouldn’t have to be all alone…” and he responded, “Oh don’t worry baby Matt is here, he’s been keeping me company, the moment I told him what’s going on he came down.” What a relief!! My husband was not alone anymore, and I felt sooo much better, and felt that now I should try to get some rest and gather my strength for my son, thanks to Matt who cared enough to be with his buddy Matt.
Like Matt said in his post, “as if by some miracle” he showed up at the right time for my husband. That’s not all though, came to find out the next morning when I spoke to my husband that Pfingsten was with him the entire night through the next morning. It was with that act of love, support and selfishless that Matt showed for my husband, my newborn, and me for that matter, that he and his wife earned a special place in my heart. Matt & Aline-they are family. Family is a special friendship, it’s unconditional love at any moment; support at the drop of a hat, through the worse and the best of times. So you see Matt and his family have been there for us at the most difficult time of our life and now it wasn’t even a question for Matt and I to help out Matt & Aline in preparation for baby boy Pfingsten. It was the least we could do for our family.
Oh, and folks please don’t let them fool you, the garage- it only happened because of the beers these two men pounded down and the whips and chains we ladies had :-)
Thank you Matt for your beautiful words.

]]> By: VegasDad http://redsparks.com/playpen/2009/05/18/thicker-than-water/comment-page-1/#comment-1651 VegasDad Tue, 19 May 2009 14:33:18 +0000 http://redsparks.com/playpen/?p=356#comment-1651 What a great friend! I can't believe you got all of that done it one day. Well done dude. What a great friend! I can’t believe you got all of that done it one day. Well done dude.

]]> By: Barbara http://redsparks.com/playpen/2009/05/18/thicker-than-water/comment-page-1/#comment-1650 Barbara Tue, 19 May 2009 02:37:59 +0000 http://redsparks.com/playpen/?p=356#comment-1650 I like Matt and Helga, too! Because, they are good friends to you. Uhm, where DID it all go?! I like Matt and Helga, too! Because, they are good friends to you.

Uhm, where DID it all go?!

]]> By: Kori http://redsparks.com/playpen/2009/05/18/thicker-than-water/comment-page-1/#comment-1649 Kori Mon, 18 May 2009 20:45:55 +0000 http://redsparks.com/playpen/?p=356#comment-1649 What a great lesson to learn, and so true! And of course you were asking for sympathy, dude, you are a GUY! But I let that go because you also happen to be a great husband, a great father, and you must be a good friend in order to have such good ones yourself. Now take some deep breaths, do it again, and all will be well. My thoughts are with all of you. What a great lesson to learn, and so true! And of course you were asking for sympathy, dude, you are a GUY! But I let that go because you also happen to be a great husband, a great father, and you must be a good friend in order to have such good ones yourself. Now take some deep breaths, do it again, and all will be well. My thoughts are with all of you.

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