The Playpen

I’ve been trying to come up with something Earth-shattering and amazing for this, my 100th post on The Playpen. This morning, after dropping Nana off at the airport and watching Frankie sob a little in the car on the way home, I realized that the following was the perfect choice.

I’m not embarrassed to say that I’m close to my mom. I am. I think that’s a healthy thing and the older we all get the more I think a guy who is close to his mom might be seen as a good thing instead of cause for an old-fashioned beatdown by the tether ball courts.

Since a week after my son was born, my mom has been staying with us. Sometimes, at the end of her visits, I admittedly feel some sense of relief just by having the house back to myself. I don’t feel guilty saying this because we all know its true and she appreciates getting back to the comfort of her own home as well. But this time? No relief. My mom rocked.

I have been hiding my terror for some time with regard to having two children and what it is going to mean to my relationship with my wife. We are both very stubborn, headstrong, controlling and hot-tempered. Sort of like vinegar and baking soda. Either one, sitting by itself on the couch watching Next Food Network Star (can you believe Teddy lied like that? The meatloaf was totally a collaborative dish), would be completely benign. But we all know what happens when you mix and shake. In addition to our volatility, I have also quietly been observing our friends who have two children, most of them fairly recently. I have seen their sunken, bloodshot eyes staring lifelessly into the distance as if dreaming of beautiful, quiet places far, far away. I have seen their hunched, withered frames moping about, sometimes stooping painfully to pick up a Thomas train or dirty diaper, then continuing on their aimless journey to mediocrity. I have seen them flare up at each other, ignited like a gunpowder keg at a statement as innocent as “honey, do you mind holding him for a second?” They are the walking dead. They are husks of human beings existing only to provide an eternity of thankless service for tiny little demons.

This was my nightmare.

But having my mom with us taking care of things laid my fears to rest. She served as sort of a buffer for us during this period of adjustment and let us both see that we can handle this. I am also fairly certain at this point that we can do it fairly well, too, without either of us ending up chopped into little pieces and stuffed into trash bags behind the garage. Not having to maintain the home, take care of my older daughter 100% of the time and to be trapped inside the house for three weeks gave us time to breathe and it gave us time to adjust. We were able to just be a family for a little while and, in doing so, I was able to see what it can be like and how absolutely terrific it can be. Call me optimistic, but just having a glimpse of a really positive situation in one’s life makes it infinitely easier to weather the tough times. It allows you to focus on and strive for the positives in life and makes it easier to hunker down and just “get through it.”

So, for what its worth, thanks mom. You helped us out more that you can imagine. I love you, and I don’t care who knows it.

-Matt

1. Kori Says:
   June 25th, 2009 at 6:39 pm

   I think those people you wrote about-the ones walking around looking for a life they no longer have, probably shouldn’t have ever had one kid, much less two or more. But that’s just me, I guess. It’s hard, terrible even sometimes, and there are moments for ALL of us where we think,”Now what the hell happened here?” BUT: it can be done, and it can be the most joyful experience in the world. Not all the time-nothing ever is-but more often than not. In my opinion, and for whatever THAT’s worth!
   Kori´s last blog ..Lighten Up!

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2. Alex Says:
   June 25th, 2009 at 9:40 pm

   That is so great!

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3. The Playpen » Blog Archive » Nana’s Notes Says:
   October 13th, 2009 at 10:56 am

   [...] it. Anyway, in digging through my files I found a lovely post that was written by my mom after her last visit. I, of course, am only posting it now and doing so selfishly to avoid having to write anything of [...]