This entry was posted on Thursday, December 31st, 2009 at 11:49 pm and is filed under Family Stuff. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.
Ten years ago, on this very night, I sat (high on slightly more than life) huddled with a small group of friends in a tiny cave lit by candlelight on the edge of a desert about 50 miles north of Los Angeles.
As my friend tuned in the boom box to the countdown which, at those particular coordinates could only be found in Spanish, I stepped out of the cave and clambered up to the top of a large mound of boulders to gaze at the city lights far, far away. My body was warmed by alcohol and God knows what else, and as I looked at the tiny luminescent grid in the distance my thoughts were consumed with only one thing; myself. As the frigid desert air whipped through my fleece I said under my breath “I’ve beaten you, Los Angeles. You lose.”
This morning I woke up and had a family. I had a beautiful and intelligent daughter and a handsome and alert son. I had a supportive, attractive, brilliant wife, trying her best to hide her fear. I had a mortgage and I had a tuition. I had a real life. And I had knowledge. I had grown a bit and, as I looked back on that New Year’s Eve, I could not help but scoff at my previous, arrogant self.
In the ten years that passed between conquering a city containing 3.5 million people with individual lives and the moment the sun kissed the roof this morning, releasing steam into the dawn, I learned. I learned that I most certainly conquered nothing, and that my purpose had been all wrong. In that ten years I had built an empire, which crumbled. I rebuilt it, only to see it crumble again. I had the rug yanked out from under my feet, and detested life for treating me so poorly.
Somewhere along that oh-so-short timeline that is a decade, I came to an awareness. One that I will use to shed light on every decision I make for the rest of my existence. I realized that, in life, there is no rug. The things that we perceive as stability, security, success and power are all just temporary facades over which we have absolutely no control. We can nudge them and, if we are lucky, maybe even influence them from time to time. But at the end of the day, our lives are in someone else’s hands; a disucssion for another day. I realized that, no matter how hard I tried, how hard I fought, there really was only one true constant in this great big mess called life. Only one thing that I could depend on. Only one thing that made me human. People.
Throughout all the ups, throughout all the downs, there have been people in my life; in all of our lives. People that reach out, that pick us up, that show us love and that extend a needed hand without consequence. There have been people that have made us laugh, inspired us, caused us pain, and awakened us. There have been people that have loved us. I can say without a doubt, on the dawn of a new decade, that people, and the relationships we have with them, are the meaning of life.
Every man, woman and child deserves our respect, admiration and compassion. None of us is any greater, or lesser, than the other. I swore when I started writing online that I would never write a “New Year’s Resolution” post, but I’m doing it now, and would like to suggest that anyone reading this try, at leat a little, to do the same.
This year I am committed to only one thing; to being a good human being. Losing weight, quitting smoking, spending less money; these are all selfish goals that can be carried out on the side. I am committed to helping those who need it. To offering assistance to those less fortunate, to humbly privding a shoulder to those in pain and to those who can benefit from a few small words of encouragement. I have realized that my, our, purpose in life is to support and nurture the human spirit, to put one’s problems and concerns aside and ask oneself “What can I do for you?” This, I believe, is the path to remembrance. Complete selflessness is a mark that nothing else can leave on the face of life, and I intend to do it.
When life gives you lemons, share them with others.
Happy New Year to you all. May peace, love and happiness be yours in the upcoming year.
Sincerely,
Matt, Aline, Frankie and Dominick.
RedSparks
January 1st, 2010 at 8:40 am
Happy new year, to a new friend whose post eerily echosed my own this year, or vice versa.
Kori´s last blog ..The Obligatory new year’s post
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January 1st, 2010 at 7:08 pm
I am sooo glad you survived conquering LA, Matt. To write and pledge giving even more of yourself. Add to the description of the family you wake-up with each morning a smart, resilient, hard-working, and hugely funny father.
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January 1st, 2010 at 7:09 pm
(I want my most recent post displayed.)
Barbara´s last blog ..Looking Ahead
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January 4th, 2010 at 5:49 pm
From Serious McMommy:
That was an AWESOME POST. Very inspirational.
From Fun McMommy:
Can we expound on the “and God knows what else” part of this post?
McMommy´s last blog ..Bring me your tired, your cold, your hungry. And I will give them SOUP!
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January 8th, 2010 at 7:35 pm
McMommy – I could expound. i’d probably need to start an entire blog for that.
well spoken, Matt. Couldn’t have said it better myself. what a great place to be.
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