This entry was posted on Wednesday, January 27th, 2010 at 11:31 pm and is filed under Time Out. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.
OK, I admit it. Things slowed down a bit yesterday. But the topic is still important to me and I was grateful to have honest input from the esteemed panel of amazing moms on the third day of Time Out. Today’s topic, however, is something I have wrestled with on an almost daily basis since my daughter was born. Like cigarettes and liquor, TV is something I know should be bad, and something I should prevent her from abusing. However, it’s just so easy to come by. So let’s talk about it a little. Here comes question four!
Let’s talk about television for a minute. We all know that we are supposed to think that it’s bad for kids. In your opinion, is it? How much is too much for kids and what activities do you encourage as an alternative?
Kori Jones
See Kori Rant
We recently acquired cable television after having gone nine years with no television at all; I got rid of television after I realized our entire family was sheduling our day around what was on the TV. Well, that and hearing Bob Dole talk about erectile dysfunction. And, really, nothing has changed; there is still a lot of crap out there on TV, and I think it is our responsibility as intelligent adults (presumably) to weed out the things we don’t want our kids to see and learn. In the years without television, my kids learned to read or play with their toys or play games or (gasp!) go outside, and I have found that hasn’t changed that much. They still do all of those things because TV hasn’t been their primary focus. I do think that TV can be a useful tool, especially if parents are cognizant of the messages being sent out and take pains to reduce their impact of the children.
Mr. Lady
Whiskey In My Sippy Cup
I’m a big fan of tv. I am also a big fan of good grades and exercise. As long as a balance gets struck, I’m okay with it. I used to only let my boys watch tv on Saturday and Sunday, and I found that, come Saturday morning, it was like a FIX by that point. They were so insanely desperate for it that it would consume their whole day. It’s like never giving your kids candy and thereby creating little sugar-crazy maniacs. I let them watch during the week now, but after homework and around outside time. I find that by letting them have it in moderation, they never over-do it.
Aline Pfingsten
RedSparks
I have read that too much TV is bad for kids. And I’m sure to some extent that is true. Before Frankie turned 2 we limited her TV watching to about half hour to an hour a day. She’s always had her favorite shows taped, so we’ve stuck to that and that’s all she would watch. As she got older we became more liberal with the whole thing. My thinking; as long as she shows interest in other activities and is able to focus on them without constantly reverting back to TV then I’m ok with it. Some nights we don’t do TV at all and frankly she hardly minds it. This shows me that she’s not that attached to it. We read or play Wii, cook together or simply hang out and chat about her day at school.
Barbara Boucher
TherExtras
Okay, but only for a minute. [Give me the remote, Matt!]
(You pose a developmental question here, Matt. Are the children 2, 4, 6, 8, 10, 12, 14 or 16 years old?)
In less than a minute: television = all screens; severely limited to pre-approved viewing or co-viewing (might be safer than co-sleeping) for less than 1 hour per day for preschoolers and only on weekends for children over the age of 4. Instead: reading, conversation, play with siblings and toys, planned activities, extracurriculars, play involving movement – skating, bicycling, swinging, swimming. A safe play environment in close proximity to parents.
Pre-set your own rules, for without rules it is a judgment call every.single.day.
Matt, you didn’t ask about texting and time online.
McMommy
The McMommy Chronicles
My kids are not huge television watchers….and not because I don’t encourage, believe me! You know how much it can help to have them watch a show for 30 minutes so you can get a few things done! But what they do love? Computers. They each have their own. My 5 year old loves to fly airplanes on his with Microsoft Flight Simulator. Our almost 3 year old has an old laptop of ours. He plays on www.starfall.com and www.playhousedisney.com. When I walk out in the morning (I am always the last person to get up in this house….SETTLE DOWN ALL YOU GOOD MOMS! It’s not my fault the three of them are morning people and I am not!) it is hilarious….all three of them are at my kitchen counter, sitting on the barstools, each with a laptop in front of them. I love it. Which could be proof that I may love tech geeks more than 80s hair bands.
So, I’m still not sure. Let my daughter watch eight straight hours of Gilligan or not? Weigh in with your thoughts. You know. If you’re not watching Idol.
If you’d like to read more of the Time Out series, click the links below for previous discussions.
-Matt
Online shopping beats TV every time. We all know it. Check out RedSparks.
January 28th, 2010 at 3:20 am
I love Mr. Lady’s answer…all things in moderation and we should be ok.
McMommy´s last blog ..State of the Union (hic!)
[reply]
Matt Reply:
January 28th, 2010 at 9:08 am
@McMommy, I agree with that too. We’ve made the mistake of building TV into our bedtime routine, and now its a little hard to get away from it, even if it is for short periods of time.
[reply]
January 28th, 2010 at 6:58 am
Sheesh, you do take on some HOT topics, don’t ya! We never let Faith watch tv as she was growing. I was mostly worried about her wasting time sittin’ in front of it instead of catching up to where she needed to be. Plus I hate all the violence and bad language. She never watched “Barney” can you believe it? That said, this Christmas we caved and bought a dvd player for the car, mostly b/c I was tired of trying to drive and pick up thrown toys at the same time! No amount of trickery, beggin’, toy rotation or scemes on my part could overcome 10+ hrs a week in the car for a six yr old. SO we did all the right things…bought educational dvds, music and signing videos. So here I sit (on the fence) after years of soapboxing. Can’t say it’s good for them to sit like veggies in front of the thing but can’t say it isn’t good for a little parental sanity (in the car, of course, with educational dvd’s and parental control features….) INSERT SNICKER….HERE!
Candace´s last blog ..OMG, I AM IN LUVVVV….
[reply]
Matt Reply:
January 28th, 2010 at 9:13 am
@Candace, Thanks for commenting. I agree with you about the violence and such. Once in a while if I’m not paying attention a cartoon will come on that I have never seen and Frankie will sit there and watch it. I used to watch Saturday cartoons every week, but I sure don’t remember them being just so damn LOUD. There has to be some type of sensory overload at play with them. And I am sure you’re daughter is all the much better for NOT having seen Barney. Good lord what a bad show.
[reply]
January 28th, 2010 at 8:40 am
I want an iPad.
[reply]
Matt Reply:
January 28th, 2010 at 9:14 am
@Carl Spackler, Why did you have ocular surgery or something? I think they have patches you can get for like 2.99 at those Halloween stores. Would probably stop the seeping.
[reply]
Carl Spackler Reply:
January 28th, 2010 at 1:05 pm
@Matt, oops, posted in the wrong blog ;0)
I actually took a moment to look up ocular surgery, and had a nice laugh. I’m obviously not that smart…might be all the TV I watched as a kid. Apparently “iPad” and “eye patch” sound very similiar on planet Internet.
JD Salinger died today at the age of 91. I find comfort in knowing that a man of equal literary genius has taken his place in my ‘reader’
TV for kids?
4 words: Jacks Big Music Show
My kids stopped watching it 8 months ago, but I didn’t. My favorite episode is “Little Bad Wolf” That little green wolf trying to sing just cracks me up.
FYI- I don’t really have a ‘reader’
Honestly, I don’t even know what a ‘reader’ is…but it sounds expensive.
[reply]
Barbara Reply:
January 28th, 2010 at 3:27 pm
@Carl Spackler, Me, too. (And no pad-jokes, Matt!)
Barbara´s last blog ..Do you see what you get?
[reply]
January 28th, 2010 at 9:01 am
I’m with Mr Lady. In moderation, it’s fine. (And spending $5 a month more for the DVR so that they can skip through all the mind-numbing commercials, and watch something on OUR time is totally worth it!)
April´s last blog ..Re-thinking education (yes, again)
[reply]
Matt Reply:
January 28th, 2010 at 9:15 am
@April, skipping commercials is TRULY a blessing that we never had. They are so much worse than most of the actual programs. I just wish there was a “permanent skip” function on DVRs to eliminate them all together.
[reply]
January 28th, 2010 at 9:29 am
I agree that the commercials are perhaps the worst part of TV. At the same time, a lot of the so-called “kids” shows portray values or mindsets that I don’t want my kids to learn, so I think we have to be just as vigilant about what they watch besides commercials. Barbara brought up a great point, too, about the different developmental ages when asking this question-because like most things in life, the answer is different for different age groups.
Kori´s last blog ..You’re Staying home to do what?
[reply]
Matt Reply:
January 28th, 2010 at 10:18 am
@Kori, why should the answer be different? Perhaps Barbara will weigh in, but to me it seems like more TV for younger children would be better than for older kids. As they mature, the content becomes more adult-oriented and “age-approprate” viewing becomes more elusive, no?
[reply]
Kori Reply:
January 28th, 2010 at 11:29 am
@Matt, I think that for me (and only for me), a toddler still has so much to learn about the world that I personally don’t want mine to learn about it from TV (although I will assert here that there IS quality TV programming for kids of any age), especially because they are not old enough to really “get” the difference between reality vs made up, and therefore it is harder to have a conversation based in reality about what they have seen on TV. Also, if you start good habits early on (toddler years) like balancing TV OR computer time (or video games) with playing outside and reading, it is much easier to continue that balance once they get older.
I will be the first to admit that I do not filter what the older kids watch (within reason!), becuase more than once they have approached a topic and asked what I think, why X is okay but Z is not, and I think that for older kids, their morals, ethics, beliefs, whatever you choose to call it are already (or should be) pretty much in place. Plus they are capable of realizing that what happens on TV might have 1% based in reality and the rest is made up.
Kori´s last blog ..You’re Staying home to do what?
[reply]
Matt Reply:
January 28th, 2010 at 3:50 pm
@Kori, totally valid. My response had more to do with the influence “bad” television can have on older children. I rest firmly on the side that kids DO pick up habits and mannerisms that they see on TV, and that can be unhealthy.
Mr Lady Reply:
January 28th, 2010 at 12:11 pm
@Matt, I think the answer would be different because, for example, after my kids go down, I NEED that hour of John Stewart to unwind. I NEED the distraction. My 4 year old does not. She is distracted by her butt crack. My sons, however, are at the age where they, too, need a mental check-out. I think to an extent their tv shows help them along.
Also, 3of3 isn’t learning much from Phineas and Ferb, but my boys learn shit-tons from How It’s Made. Therein is the difference, for me.
[reply]
Matt Reply:
January 28th, 2010 at 3:55 pm
@Mr Lady, First of, LOL! My (also four-year-old) daughter also seems to have a strange fascination with that particular area of her body at the moment. I usually just look away.
And I guess my statement is also based on the fact that I don’t HAVE older children. In my mind I have this terrible vision of my daughter at 13, pale and glazed over, watching 10 straight hours of Night Court reruns while taking long pulls off of her honeybear bong. That being said, your comment DOES make sense.
Barbara Reply:
January 28th, 2010 at 2:03 pm
@Matt, An astounding amount of agreement in this ‘conversation’. But, no, Matt, not with you. I agree with Kori. “more TV for younger children would be better than for older kids” – whaaa?! Back to what Kori said, different decisions for different-aged children. Parents get to decide for their own – and when asked my opinion – that’s what I think (above). Matt, you might benefit from reading my post today – which Kori did!
Barbara´s last blog ..Do you see what you get?
[reply]
Matt Reply:
January 28th, 2010 at 3:52 pm
@Barbara, I did too…and nice to see you two getting along again. Agreeing is good. Don’t you agree?
January 28th, 2010 at 10:01 am
Wandered in from Kori’s Rant and was grabbed by one of my favorite subjects: TV. My kids, a boy and a girl, grew up without broadcast/cable TV in the house. Yes, all 18 years. Though we did have a monitor and VCR for movies on tape for their last 3 years or so. There was a period where they wanted TV the way other kids had it, around 6th grade or so, but they got over that and they watched when they spent the night at a friend’s.
Their teachers would tell me that they could spot a kid who didn’t have TV at home within the first hour in the classroom — calmness, the ability to concetrate, interest in what the teacher was saying… The “kids” are in their early 30′s now and neither has cable TV in their house. They do watch streamed programs from time to time.
When they were little, we would listen to books on tape and/or play board games in the evening. Their bed time ritual involved me or their father reading to/with them until they were 11 or 12. They are both big readers to this day. Instead of TV, they listen to music, cook, sew, ride their bikes, walk the dog in the park, go out to a film festival…
I think broadcast TV is a hard thing to moderate in the home. It, almost inevitably, turns in to a battle ground. I do not see TV doing anything to encourage creativity.
[reply]
Matt Reply:
January 28th, 2010 at 10:24 am
@N2, Thanks for stopping by and for your feedback. I have a pointed question, if you happen back here. I’m willing to bet that most parents (certainly true for myself) use TV time to “catch up” on things around the house. Adult discussions, housekeeping, cooking, etc. To me it sounds like you spent a LOT of time with your children, which is commendable (read the Preschool post two days ago and you’ll see it’s something I strive for and fall short of often.) Do you feel that you sacrificed too much of your “personal time” by not allowing it? Perhaps the better way to phrase it is, “if you HAD allowed TV, do you feel your personal live would have improved? Not meant to imply that there was anything wrong with your personal life at all, simply wondering how my OWN life might be affected by the lack of TV. Thanks again for reading!
[reply]
Kori Reply:
January 28th, 2010 at 11:31 am
@Matt, I have to jump in here and tell you that we did not have TV for none years, up until just a few months ago. So while I get what you are saying, I have to jump in and say that just as many things can be “caught up on” when the kids are outside playing, reading a book, etc…As for adult conversations, we still pretty much have to limit those until the kids are in bed.
Kori´s last blog ..You’re Staying home to do what?
[reply]
N2 Reply:
January 29th, 2010 at 4:40 am
@Matt & Kori,
Thanks again for your thought provoking post(s). I was thinking about this this morning and about the question of “personal time”. I have to agree with Kori, that you can get it without using the TV. TV, after all, is a cold electronic wet nurse. When disconnected, the kids have learned nothing about entertaining themselves except to turn back on the junk food juice. Do you feed them Twinkies, Snowballs, HoHo’s? I think not. Teach a man to fish…Teach a kid to draw, shape clay, read, listen to a story record or tape, work a puzzle, play a game with you or another kid, dig in the garden, ride a bike, got to the library…and they grow up knowing not just how to entertain themselves but how to focus, use their imagination and concentrate — how to think for themselves. My advice is to unplug the TV. It will be good for all concerned.
N2´s last blog ..Day 22: Dans le grenier
[reply]
January 28th, 2010 at 12:15 pm
Something I didn’t mention is that, when I was about 10, my mother decided our tv as possessed by Satan (not kidding) and made up chop it to pieces with butterknives (Really, you can’t make this stuff up). We, a bunch of dirt poor kids with no parental guidance whatsoever, went several years without television. We killed a few salamaders, but we also built a few puzzles. And when she let us have the tube back, we all realized that we hadn’t missed it all that much.
My point? We make more out of it than our kids do. Period. I think that if it’s a non-issue for us, it’ll be a non-issue for them.
[reply]
Matt Reply:
January 28th, 2010 at 3:57 pm
@Mr Lady, This is very true. EVERY time we skip TV and do something else like reading, drawing, etc., the ONLY person that seems to notice is me. If I keep Frankie busy, she doesn’t even ask for it, nor does she care.
[reply]
January 28th, 2010 at 2:41 pm
My kid would be clueless about pop culture if the TV didn’t exist. And without pop culture, you cannot make socially relevant witty wisecracks. And without those, well, then you just aren’t cool. Think of TV as a socialization tool.
Ok, I jest. Kind of. Fury gets to watch TV in moderation on weekends (moderation is determined by mom and dad on a day to day basis) and only before school on the weekdays (it works as a motivator to get changed and ready quickly – the slower you are, the less TV you get to watch before we have to leave). I personally don’t want to raise a kid who’s first reflex is to grab a snack and plop himself in front of the tube when he gets a chunk of free time. At the same time, I don’t want to deprive him of things that his peers might be talking about or into, like Clone Wars, or iCarly. It’s a fine line, but you can usually find it in a land called Everything in Moderation.
BusyDad´s last blog ..That Burning Sensation
[reply]
Matt Reply:
January 28th, 2010 at 4:04 pm
@BusyDad, Is that your final answer? Get it? Man, thank god for TV.
Moderation has always been a weak point for me, but DO try. I think the problem in particular is building it into our schedule, you know? I don’t do that with ANY other “free” activities such as games, puzzles, art or music. Those things are more like electives in our house while TV has become a core unit.
[reply]
Barbara Reply:
January 28th, 2010 at 5:29 pm
@Matt, Here you have been extremely astute, Matt. Accepting tv as a daily norm – like eating, leads one to not question it. And then it grows – like a waistline. (I mean this comment as a compliment.)
Barbara´s last blog ..Do you see what you get?
[reply]
January 28th, 2010 at 7:03 pm
I’m with most of the people here- I think that watching with your child every now and again is fine, using it as a babysitter for hours every day isn’t. But I also have the problem that others have stated, moderating it for myself and not building a schedule around it is harder.
If it were just me, I wouldn’t have a TV outside of my room. But I live with my mom so the TV reigns.
Cat´s last blog ..Wordless Wednesday
[reply]
January 29th, 2010 at 7:09 pm
It isn’t that the kids watch TV that concerns me as much as what they watch that concerns me. Since there isn’t a whole lot of worthwhile television programs, mine don’t watch TV all that often. Now, video games are their true desire, and that is a battle I just don’t need, but fight regularly.
Arby´s last blog ..Parenting 101: The Golden Trophy
[reply]
February 1st, 2010 at 11:50 am
Interesting post and comments. I discontinued cable when George Clooney left E.R. What was the point of even owning a television after that? So my kids have reached their teen years with no t.v. at all (no reception without cable). We watch dvds with the kids, after homework is done and rooms are clean etc. So that pretty much leaves it to the weekends.
My kids are fabulous, musically gifted, voracious readers who are very savvy about pop culture. My son, however, cheats at Monopoly. The dark side of teaching your kids to play board games I guess.
I think every family should decide for themselves, but I would argue with anyone that lack of t.v. leaves kids behind in any way. I also take a pretty dim view of parents who use t.v. as a babysitter. Just my bias. I had three kids under the age of two and plenty of time for myself. It just takes a little organization.
threeundertwo´s last blog ..Makes My Monday
[reply]
February 2nd, 2010 at 10:54 am
[...] I was inspired by last week’s series, in particular the post about television. My daughter is becoming a pretty creative kid, and I am fairly sure that Toot & Puddle has [...]