Archive for the 'General' Category

Is Preschool Bad For Your Kids?

August 22, 2008 (posted by Matt)

A while ago, a blog friend of mine made a random comment on their site that, for whatever reason, I cannot seem to shake. It wasn’t meant to be taken seriously, but it was just one of those things that sort of opened my eyes to a new perspective and made me think. My interpretation of the comment was that putting a child into preschool too soon is not only not a benefit to a kid, but could also be damaging to them from an emotional and developmental standpoint.

My daughter starts preschool in a week. She is three-and-a-half years old. In order to make a clean comparison, lets take finances out of the mix. Granted, there are many people out there for whom anything but preschool for their children is not fiscally viable (how’s THAT for a sentence!) As U.S. home values drop, inflation increases and expenses rise, both parents must work to make ends meet. For the purpose of my question you will ultimately read at the bottom of this post (I hope), I’d like to exclude this group from the debate.

I am interested in other reasons parents may have for sending or not sending their children to Pre-K. In our case, we feel that our daughter needs it, and can benefit greatly from it. She is a bit ahead of the curve intelligence-wise, yes…at least for now. But, that aside, we have simply come to the realization that we are NOT the type of parents who can devote every hour of every day to nurturing our daughters creative, analytical and behavioral growth. Before you judge that statement, let me also say that we are good parents. We spend a lot of time with her, and I know for a fact that anyone coming in from the outside to observe would agree that she is being raised well. But we simply can’t offer her the stimulation that a structured, scholastic environment can. Is “scholastic” to heavy a word for a preschooler? I don’t think so. Her classroom has computers. There is a complete library with a preschool section and reading days every Friday. Tuesdays are art. Thursdays are music. There is cooking, theater, organized sports, even swimming. HOW, pray tell, would two lowly individuals like ourselves possibly be able to expose her to that type of diversity? They study ABC’s, learn the Pledge of Allegiance, foreign language…oh, did I mention that they play outside all the time too? Not only will she love it, but she will be challenged, and she enjoys challenge. I recently bought her a new ABC puzzle. She spent HOURS with me doing it over and over until she had almost all of them (has anyone seen the “S”, by the way?). Personally, I can see no better way of keeping her entertained, motivated and focused than preschool, and stand by our decision to send her. (I didn’t even touch on the socialization aspects of it…how many playdates can one person REALLY set up on their own?).

The counterpoint to this argument is one shared by many of my close friends. They believe that birth through, say, four years old is bonding time for the children and the parents. That those years should be devoted to play, development and discipline in the home. They feel, I think, that the child should not be made to be away from home for long periods of time, and that the home environment and consistent presence of the parents is far more beneficial to a child during these early years when children are so impressionable. Preschool, for them, is more damaging than good in that it takes away the opportunity for the parents to instill the character traits they wish onto their children and places it firmly in the hands of people they do not know. They often feel that parents who do put their kids into Pre-K are guilty of hyper parenting, and place unnecessary and undue stress and expectations on children who are not yet emotionally ready to carry that burden.

Clearly, you know which side of the argument I fall into. You will never convince me that my daughter will not be happier, more well-rounded and more successful in life (not only financially, but emotionally as well) if she is exposed to more, learns more and processes more from her current age on. But I am also aware that there are billions of intelligent and creative people who have very happy and comfortable lives who didn’t attend one hour of preschool growing up.

My final question is simple. Do three and four-year-old children benefit more from early education or from the continuing attention, love and comfort they receive at home? I know what the statistics say, but there IS more to life than the right college or perfect career. What do you think?

Matt
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Roll With The Changes

August 06, 2008 (posted by Matt)

Today, my first post as a contributing author on Discovering Dad went live! If you haven’t checked out Jeremy’s site, I recommend it. It’s a fantastic resource for fathers and a wonderful community. The general theme of my post was coming to terms with the responsibility of being a new father, and what type of changes to expect.

I thought I would do a different version of that theme here on The Playpen from a more lighthearted perspective. So here they are. Matt’s top ten changes you can expect as a new father:

1. You will no longer blast your own music in your car. My iPod contains about 80 GB of music. Around 20 MB of that is my daughter’s. That 20 MB is played approximately 99.98% of the time. This rule also applies to your DVDs.

2. You will develop an affinity for fish sticks, mac-n-cheese and popsicles. You will also discover that you can make over 780 unique dishes using only these three ingredients and some chocolate sprinkles.

3. Three Words. Body. Mass. Index. Better hit the XXL section next time you’re at Target.

4. Increased estrogen level. I am sure there must be scientific evidence to support this. You will catch yourself speaking to your child in a feminine, high-pitched voice in places where it is not appropriate for a man do be doing so…like Best Buy.

5. You will lose all of your current knowledge of NFL football. Your child-less friends will have heated discussions about passer ratings, draft picks and the best blocking fullbacks in the league, and you will feel left out completely. In order to cover your embarrassment, you will blurt out something like “Yeah, well Swiper took a mitten today and I found it behind the tree in less than ten seconds!” This will eliminate your embarrassment as it will immediately sever your relationships with your child-less friends.

6. You will inevitably end up sitting alone on the couch watching Wonder Pets long after your child has gotten up and walked off. Why? Because Wonder Pets ain’t half bad.

7. You will redirect your competitive, alpha-dog nature from things like salary, car, house and flat screen TV to things like Diaper Genies, strollers and baby furniture. “Did you get a load of that wipe warmer that Steve and Jen had? It only had one temperature setting and didn’t even light up! Ours is so much better. I’ll bet they’ve noticed it, too.”

8. Your favorite room in the house will no longer be the TV room. Or the kitchen. It will be the bathroom. Why? Because you can read ESPN the Magazine in there and the door locks. Sanctuary.

9. Yes. Its true. You will begin to love, not like, LOVE the Olive Garden.

10. You will begin to wear the same clothes over and over again, no matter how much you told yourself you wouldn’t be “that dad”. The other day I was looking at a picture of my daughter at 10 weeks old (over three years ago). Slowly, my eyes went down to the shirt I was wearing, then back to the picture, then back to the shirt. Yup.

Matt
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Earthquake!

July 29, 2008 (posted by Matt)

Less than an hour ago, My hometown of Los Angeles was rocked by yet another earthquake. If experience serves me, the actual magnitude will change over the next few days as news stations, eager to be first on the scene, report the best information they have at the moment. Immediate reports said 5.8, now it is down to 5.4.

My first earthquake in LA was the 1994 Northridge Quake. I had been living here for less than six months, and had conveniently chosen an apartment about a mile from the epicenter. For those of you who have not experienced a truly damaging earthquake, the experience is something that never leaves you. At the first hint of a tremor or rumble, your body stiffens, your pulse quickens and you freeze.

This one was particularly bad. Not because of the magnitute…it was really just kind of a gentle roller…but because, for the first time, I had a family. And we were all apart.

My wife was at home, Frankie was at daycare and I was at work. Once the rumbling subsided and my hands stopped shaking I tried to call. No service. I tried the land line. No service. And guess what? We had no plan. I didn’t think that it was a bad enough quake to cause any physical damage, but you never know. Sometimes it has to do with the type of fault and plate movement, as well as the depth and other factors. Regardless, I was worried beyond belief.

I promptly drove home, where Aline was fine and phone service had been restored. Frankie was ok, but they would be napping today with their shoes on, just in case. In twenty minutes, Aline and I drafted up a plan should the big one hit when we were all apart. Thats all it took, and we kicked ourselves for not having done it sooner. Tonight we will be going out to put together the earthquake kit that we have been meaning to get together for the last fourteen years.

Being unprepared for a natural disaster while responsible for the safety and well being of loved ones is not only lazy, it is just plain stupid. Thank god I get to redeem myself.

For a listing of high-risk earthquake areas and additional resources focusing on earthquake preparedness, here are some links:

http://www.fema.gov/areyouready/earthquakes.shtm

http://earthquake.usgs.gov/learning/preparedness.php

Los Angeles Fire Department Emergency Preparedness (PDF Download)

Matt
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My Daughter’s Drawing Is Cooler Than Yours

July 25, 2008 (posted by Aline)

OK, maybe not in its natural state. In fact, many little ones’ artwork looks a lot alike to me. But the great thing about the drawings and paintings that my daughter makes is that they are my daughter’s, and I save them all.

Recently, my husband surprised me with a gift that I would never have expected. It was original, fun, cool and unlike anything I have ever seen. Apparently, he got the idea from one on BusyDad’s posts a while ago, and was determined to get me something ever since. I was so happy when my daughter presented me with her drawing that day, I thought it was the coolest thing ever. Her first “real” resemblance of a drawing, and it was me! Miraculously the drawing disappeared the next day only to find out that Matt had taken it to hang it up at work. I was disappointed that he got to keep it, little did I know that he was cooking up something.

Jennifer, who owns and operates an amazing shop called Magic Dog Studio, has come up with a terrific way of preserving your wee one’s art. She takes the artwork and turns it into a one-of-a-kind sterling silver pendant or charm, signs it, packages it in a beautiful gift box and sends it to your front door. She is a true artist, and interprets the kid’s squiggles and zig-zags beautifully. In addition to little people (she also offers a necklace bearing members of the whole family), you can do handprints, thumbprints and wall pieces as well.

To give you an idea of how this uber-creative lady works, I thought I’d show you the before and after.

Here is the drawing that my daughter, Frankie did of me (no, I wasn’t having a bad hair day, thats creative license!).

Frankie\'s drawing of her mommy

My husband scanned the drawing and emailed it to Jennifer. After discussing how it would look and what type of chain to use (she suggested a silver cord so the figure would “walk” across it), she went to work.

Imagine my surprise when I received this necklace a few weeks later.

Frankie\'s mommy drawing - wearable art!

Pretty cool, huh? Magic Dog Studio is truly an example of a creative and talented person doing something completely unique with her gift. I encourage anyone with children, grandkids, wives or mothers to give Jennifer a call and ask her to create a piece for you. Its a perfect way to forever preserve the childhood of that special little one in your life. You can contact her at: magicdogstudio@yahoo.com.

Aline
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No, We’re Not Mad At You.

July 03, 2008 (posted by Aline & Matt)

We’ve received a few emails from a few concerned people who commented on our last post about potty training. Just wanted to let everyone know that we are in the process of some major site maintenance, and that unfortunately we lost some of your terrific comments and suggestions in the process. Please be patient with us, and keep the comments coming!
Matt & Aline
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Teaching Your Child Corporate Politics

June 24, 2008 (posted by Matt)

I’ve written a lot about my family, outlook on child-raising and random things that I think are funny. But let me begin this entry by telling you a bit about what I do (bear with me, my reason for doing this is forthcoming). I went to a fairly well-know art school in Los Angeles, where I studied Graphic Design. Since then, I have been working in Marketing and Creative Direction for about 11 years, and have been fortunate enough to move up the corporate food chain relatively quickly. I served my previous employer (Job #1) in this capacity for eight years, and have been at my current position for over two (Job #2).

Somewhere between the birth of my daughter and accepting the position at my current employer, I came to what I would call a life decision. You see, my rapid advancement at Job #1 allowed me to gain a better reputation, expand my resume and enjoy higher compensation, but it came with a price. In order to achieve those benefits, I became something I did not want to be. I became a politician. I positioned, self-promoted, strategized and campaigned against other individuals, eventually getting one of them fired so I could assume their role and expand my responsibilities. The rat race excited me…I can even say that I enjoyed it. The truth be told, I was good at it.

Then my daughter was born. Something clicked inside me and I was filled with shame and remorse. I realized that my co-workers were human beings. They had families. The very thing I was chastising them for (not dedicating heart, sole and any available free time to corporate capital gain), somehow made sense now. What the Hell was I doing? Granted, the individual I spoke of was let go for poor performance, but who was I to attempt to encourage that, when it might have happened on its own anyway?

Until recently, at Job #2, I have lived to a new standard. I have not, will not, engage in corporate politics. It’s been beneath me, and I’ve lived, worked and played with a sense of brotherly love for all my fellow human beings. I was the corporate Gandhi, dealing out forgiveness and tolerance like playing cards on the poker table of American business.

Then it happened.

A peer in my company decided to take issue with my performance. She decided to campaign against me, apparently hoping that if she spoke in a loud enough voice, her projects would miraculously rise to the top of my priority list, regardless of whether or not they belonged there. To my horror, it started working. I looked at her from across a conference table a week ago. Determined. Angry. Defiant. My God, she was me.

I realized that, for my own survival and protection, I had to slip back into that all-too-familiar territory of bobbing and weaving, campaigning and politicking. I had no choice. If I didn’t, she could potentially cause me to lose my job, which would be devastating to my family’s future. So I have, and can tell you quite matter-of-factly, that I will succeed in completely obliterating whatever seeds of suspicion she may have planted in people’s minds, and probably cause both of us a lot of unnecessary heartache in the process. How’s that for brotherly love?

When I came home last night, I spent a while looking at photos of my daughter. She is so happy. So innocent. Her face, in some recent shots of her in the pool, bears an expression of pure, uncontaminated joy – an expression my own face has not carried for a long, long time.

How do I raise her to succeed? I have two choices. I can raise her to ignore the motives and deception of others, rise above distrust and poor character and work and live to an idealistic standard, which will make her a much better person, but set her up for disappointment and make her vulnerable to the misdirected intentions of others. Or I can teach her how to manipulate, maneuver and use situations for personal advancement, how to use peoples personalities and weaknesses against them and how to protect herself by covering herself, which will probably allow her to follow the same career path I have, but set her up for the same self-evaluation and disappointment that I am experiencing now.

I hate no-win decisions.

Matt
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10 Ways to Create an Eco-Friendly Nursery

May 05, 2008 (posted by Aline & Matt)

Hello there, Playpen Readers! First I’d like to thank you for having me guest post on this wonderful blog! I’m sure many of you are thoroughly enjoying many of The Playpen posts and surely loving the wonderful baby items Aline and Matt have selected for your precious little ones. Allow me to introduce myself. My name is Hilda and I am a 29-year-old happily married mother of two precious little girls. My husband KC and I have recently been quite busy with our girls Lily Jade (20 months) and Bella Rose (4 months).

Before our first daughter Lily was born, my husband KC and I decided we wanted to make some drastic changes in our lives. One of those changes included leading the way to teaching our children to live with gratitude, humility and with respect for our amazing planet. The lesson began with us making choices that would benefit our health, the Earth and our children’s future. One of our first steps was creating Earth and baby friendly nurseries. Below is my list of ways you can make your nursery Earth and baby friendly.

  • Buy baby furniture that has already been gently loved by another family. This is a powerful way to recycle and have furniture that has had the opportunity to release the toxic fumes (from lacquers, stains and paint) before making its way into your baby’s room.


  • If your furniture is covered in anything that releases fumes such as wood sealer, stain, paint or any other finish, place it outside or in a well ventilated garage for at least a month. This will allow for some of the fumes to diffuse from the furniture.


  • Another alternative is to purchase natural wood furniture. This furniture is made of natural wood and coated with natural wood finishes. Check out: natures crib


  • Buy a set of non-toxic all natural cleaning products. You will need them all around the house and especially for the baby’s room. A couple of popular brands are Method and Seventh Generation. This will also be especially helpful when baby proofing! Although you don’t want baby to swallow any of these products, if it was to occur you could flush the cleaner out of their system, simply by having the baby drink plenty of water.


  • You can also save some cash and make your own cleaning products. Use baking soda to deodorize carpets. Lemon juice for cleaning glass, porcelain and removing stains. If you would like to learn more about making your own cleaning solutions, check out Green Stuff Connection’s May 12th blog post! Link to Green Stuff Connection’s Blog


  • Use all energy efficient light bulbs for baby’s lamps and light fixtures. Energy efficient light bulbs reduce your energy usage daily and last a lot longer. They can be found everywhere these days.


  • Although it may seem like the best thing to do for baby, stay away from energy draining appliances. Wipe warmers and bedroom heaters are a couple of great examples. It is possible to keep baby comfortable without having appliances that never turn off. Keep your wipes at room temperature in baby’s room and dress baby warm for bed time if you feel it may be a little colder at night. Wipe warmers have been identified as one of the least useful baby products and some moms even claim the heated wipes cause baby yeast infections and more severe diaper rashes. Space heaters safety features have improved in recent years; they still run a risk of sparking up a fire. If you must have one, check out this consumer reports review


  • There are many new diapering supplies that can make your nursery much more earth and baby friendly, including chlorine free diapers and wipes. A popular brand is Seventh Generation. Even more earth friendly would be to use washable cloth diapers and wipes. A little more work but quite a money saver.


  • Think Simple… Although it may be tempting to deck out the nursery with tons of décor, simple is just so much better for baby and the environment. A simple natural wood crib, wool area rug, organic cotton bedding and natural lighting are all wonderful alternatives to over the top décor, fresh paint fumes and energy sucking appliances. If you want to save money and go simple eco-friendly, give up the over-the-top and focus your funds on earth and baby friendly choices. Try some of the large retailers now stocking eco-friendly alternatives. (Target and Wal-Mart. Not my top choice, but a pocket friendly option.) The best option is to look for small local businesses stocking these products and companies who always follow earth friendly practices.


  • Buy only what you need. When registering for baby, take time to research every product and be sure you NEED it! There are so many useless products out there being sold by the truck loads. Such over the top buying of useless items is not only depleting our natural resources but also your ever shrinking baby budget. All of these products have genius packaging and are backed by millions of dollars in marketing spent to tug at a parent’s soul. Don’t fall for this mastery of advertising! Buy only what your baby really needs! Have friends and family buy your baby savings bond certificates or plant a tree in the honor of their birth. The earth and your child will thank you in the future. Your baby only truly NEEDS your love and a safe, secure environment to live in and grow!


  • Unplug all electrical items in baby’s room when not in use.


  • Open up baby’s windows when the temperature permits! This will air out baby’s room of all paint and furniture fumes as well as all common household air pollutants.


  • Decorate the nursery with some of your precious baby items. If your parents have saved any of your adorable keepsakes, there is no better way to decorate than with meaningful re-used precious memories!


  • Make your own earth inspired decorations. Go outside and see what your environment offers you. Create your very own earth-friendly piece of nursery art. If you are lacking in the creativity department, ask a creative family member to make something earth-inspired and earth friendly as a baby gift.


  • Whether you’re just getting started or you are an eco-friendly pro, always keep in mind that every little bit of change is better than no change at all! Check out our “It’s easy being green book.” $12.95 By: Crissy Trask It’s a great little guide to making earth friendly changes that benefit our planet, your home and can even save you some cash!


  • Thank you

    Hilda O. Frank
    President/Owner
    Green Stuff Connection

    Thanks for the informative post, Hilda! We can and should all make an effort to be “greener” in our daily lives, and its inspiring to see people such as yourself taking the initiative to create change! For those of you inspired by this post, please stop by Hilda’s site, and check out RedSparks’ new organic line of products, including our “Green is the New Black” T, Organic Hoshi Bubble for girls and Organic Hoshi Romper for boys.

    Aline and Matt


    Save the Date - Guest Author on Monday!

    April 30, 2008 (posted by Matt)

    You’d probably have your head in the sand if you were not aware of the growing movement toward eco-friendly and organic products these days. And, while members of my generation seem to be embracing the change, it is truly our children who must take the reigns and change our culture to respect, repair and love the planet on which we live.

    Hilda Orosco, one of our oldest and dearest friends (she wrote a very touching post to Frankie right after we opened for business), is the founder of Green Stuff Connection, a fabulous “one stop shop” for organic and enviro-friendly clothing, accessories, gifts, bath and body products…even jewelry. I personally have purchased several of her products and have been very happy with them, the most recent being her Fiji Breeze Soap Bar, which I absolutely love. Green Stuff Connection is a member of the Organic Trade Association, and also features a monthly blog packed full of environmental tips, data and resources for the Earth-conscious.

    This coming Monday, we are honored to have Hilda guest authoring on The Playpen. Her topic will be tips and pointers for going green in your baby’s nursery. As we all know, many products on the market today not only impact the environment in a negative fashion, but also can actually be hazardous to your child’s health. Hilda will be sharing her experience with us and will reveal the simplest and best ways we can keep our babies safe, while taking care of the Earth as well. Hilda, we look forward to having you!

    Matt
    Visit our online boutique for the latest in fashion and fun for preemie through toddler


    For Tricia

    March 14, 2008 (posted by Matt)

    There is a blog I have been reading called “Confessions of a CF Husband”, written by Nate, Tricia’s husband. Theirs is a remarkable story, and incredibly touching and heartfelt. Because of the self-promotional and somewhat indulgent nature of blogging in general, I have simply lurked until now, feeling that my comments on CFHusband would be viewed as tactical in nature; an insensitive attempt to drive traffic to my own site.

    However, I was recently informed of an amazing post on CF Husband entitled “For Tricia”. Nate is asking everyone to create a list of things that they can’t wait for Tricia to experience with their own child, Gwyneth Rose, who was born at 1lb, 6 oz. So here is my list. Nate and Tricia, I hope you like it.

    I cant wait for you to experience:

    Your daughter’s first real belly laugh

    The “Crib of Terror” (Occurs shortly after they figure out how to take off their own diapers)

    The first time she takes an interest in your dog’s rear end (pointing and asking “PooPoo?)

    Having to call the book store you just visited to give them your credit card number (Occurs after discovering a mother lode of accidentally shoplifted books somehow tucked into the bottom compartment of the stroller).

    Her first real fall. With blood. (You will never recover from this and it will, somehow, make you love her more).

    Trick or Treating

    Going down one of those giant carnival slides with her (this is good for you as well…there are a LOT of stairs on those things)

    The pride you feel when she says something out of the blue and unexpected like “I’m proud of you, Daddy”, even if she’s saying it to bribe you into giving her a cookie.

    The thrill and elation of finding out that something negative an intern or nurse told you about your daughter was wrong.

    And, most importantly, looking back on the days you spent in the NICU, then looking at your daughter in the present, and somehow finding it harder and harder to remember what it was like.

    Hang in there.

    Matt


    The Great Baby Name Debate, Part Two

    February 20, 2008 (posted by Matt)

    Recently, a comment on one of my posts caught my attention. This person has a point, naming your baby is something that they truly do have to bear for the rest of their lives. However, an article in a post I just read on The Baby Name Wizard caught my attention (click on her link that says “My Last Column”). It seems that, much to my dismay, “Googleability” is becoming a leading criteria for parents when selecting their children’s names! I’ve included a little excerpt below.

    For some tech-focused families, “Googleability” is now a prime baby-naming requirement. If a full name yields too many Google results, they toss it out. Many of these parents are reacting to their own frustration with mistaken identity. Once you’ve been one of seven Tom Wilsons in your company directory, you learn to crave the clarity of a unique name. For others, a Googleable name is a fashion statement. They’ll even make sure a .com domain name is available for their baby-to-be, like the ultimate vanity license plate.

    Are we really becoming a society who bases our child’s entire future on how it will play in Search Engine Optimization? Whoa is me.

    Sorry for the soapbox. Back to preemie stuff next post.

    Matt
    Visit our online boutique for the latest in fashion and fun for preemie through toddler.


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